Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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