he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
