yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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