i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize