I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
