Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
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