haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
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My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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