I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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