Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
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