sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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