I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
