you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Randomize
