I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
