Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
My vagina just recognized that song.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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