His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
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The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
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Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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