just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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