from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
