I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Randomize