Just fell off a train. Bad.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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