I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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