Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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