Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
