Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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