Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
