soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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