just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
We have so much sex to catch up on
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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