Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
