The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
3 2 1 whiskey
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