I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I got her a Nickelback box set.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
