and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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