He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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