Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
