I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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