They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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