I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
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You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
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And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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