After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize