Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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