I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
ok first of all what the fuck
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
