Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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