I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
