she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
