She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
