the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize