You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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