Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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