Your face is a jimmy john
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
