Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
You're like the curious george of whores
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
