Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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