I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
