this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
