she woke up with a sticky ear
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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