what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
