Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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