Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
