are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Randomize
