is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize